Inspired by Britney Spears’ “Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman.”
When I think about my transition to high school, I often come back to Britney Spears’ song “Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman.”
There’s one lyric that’s always stayed with me:
“All I need is time - a moment that is mine, while I’m in between.”
That line summed up exactly how I felt during that time.
The move from primary to high school can be challenging for anyone,
but for me, it was filled with layers of expectation, uncertainty, and change.
I didn’t need anyone to fix me or tell me who to be —
I just needed time.
Time without assumptions.
Time without expectations.
Time to figure out who I was becoming in this new environment.
But I didn’t get that.
Every story starts with a reflection - this one begins with me finding a place between two worlds
The Versions of Me
In primary school, there was always an emphasis on my disability.
The focus was on independence — learning to do things for myself.
It wasn’t always negative, but it was constant.
I became the student with a disability, instead of the student who was creative, funny, stubborn, or curious.
At home, it was different.
I was just me — the cousin who played backyard games, argued over board games, and laughed until it hurt.
That version of me felt whole and real.
I thought she’d follow me into high school.
Identity shouldn’t disappear the moment we walk through the school gate
Before high school, I thought I knew exactly who I was - but identity looks different when the world started watching
Between Two Worlds
”I used to think I had the answers to everything.” - Britney Spears
That was exactly how I felt going into high school —
confident, hopeful, and ready for a smooth, fun experience.
But high school had other plans.
I couldn’t be too normal —
because my peers constantly reminded me that I had a disability.
And I couldn’t be too disabled —
because I was scared my parents might pull me out of school.
So I lived between two worlds —
trying to belong while still protecting the little independence I’d gained.
What I really needed was time —
a moment to adjust, to breathe, to exist without feeling like I had to meet everyone else’s expectations.
But I didn’t get that.
“It’s time that I learn to face up to this on my own.”
And in some ways, I did.
I’m grateful my parents let me find my own way — even when it wasn’t easy for any of us.
Sometimes growing up means learning who you are in the spaces where no gives you to figure it out
Finding The Middle Ground
By Year 8, things began to shift.
I found a group of friends who accepted me for who I was —
who didn’t question how I learned, moved, or succeeded. They celebrated it.
With their support and a growing sense of confidence,
I finally began to feel like I belonged.
I was thriving socially and academically —
and by my final year of high school, I achieved real academic success.
Those middle years gave me the space to grow,
to prove to myself that I could belong and achieve on my own terms.
Things did shift again toward the end of high school —
but that’s a story for another time.
What mattered most was that I found my way.
The strongest version of you is the one that doesn’t shrink to the space you’re in
In between who I was and who I was becoming -
learning to grow takes time and that’s okay.
For Parents and Teachers
Students with disabilities often spend more time managing how they’re perceived than managing their schoolwork.
You can help by:
💜 Encouraging them to talk about who they are beyond their diagnosis.
💬 Reminding them they don’t have to prove their worth to belong.
🌿 Creating spaces where differences aren’t just accepted — they’re respected.
When identity is honoured, confidence follows
Belonging doesn’t mean changing who you are -it means finding the people who see you as you are
Wrap-up
I used to think identity was something I had to get right.
Now I see it’s something I get to live — freely, fully, and imperfectly.
If you’re supporting a young person through high school, remind them they’re allowed to be all versions of themselves — not just the one that fits the system.
You don’t have to choose between being yourself and being accepted. You deserve both
At the End
Looking back now, that final lyric feels true in every sense:
”This girl will always find her way.”
And I did.
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Every week, I share reflections on inclusion, identity, and belonging — both the hard parts and the hopeful ones. Click here for the link
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Inclusion begins with understanding.
Candice
- Challenges Behind Acceptance
This girl will always find her way - and sometimes,
the light appears just when you stop looking for it.
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