Because learning independence shouldn’t come at the cost of education
Sometimes independence in primary school came at the cost of learning - the lessons I missed still shaped the student I became.
When Independence Became the Goal
At primary school, independence and therapy were the main focus.
Originally, my parents thought it was a great idea for me to have therapy sessions during school hours — it meant fewer appointments after school and less disruption at home.
But what seemed like a convenience quickly became a challenge.
Therapy sessions started to interrupt everything — my lessons, my friendships, even my confidence.
It didn’t matter whether we were in maths, English, or art — if a therapist arrived, we’d be taken out of class.
Even during lunch, we sometimes weren’t allowed to play with our friends.
Independence without balance can quietly hold students back
At primary school, so much of my day was shaped around becoming “independent” — therapy sessions, routines, and expectations that often pulled me away from lessons and friendships. But as I grew older, I realised that independence isn’t simply about doing everything on your own. It’s about being supported to learn, to grow, and to take steps forward with confidence.
This week’s story looks at how shifting from independence over education to education with support changed the way I saw myself — and what true inclusion really meant.
At primary school, so much of my day was shaped around becoming “independent” — therapy sessions, routines, and expectations that often pulled me away from lessons and friendships. But as I grew older, I realised that independence isn’t simply about doing everything on your own. It’s about being supported to learn, to grow, and to take steps forward with confidence.
This week’s story looks at how shifting from independence over education to education with support changed the way I saw myself — and what true inclusion really meant.
Because independence should grow alongside learning - not replace it
When Support Misses the Bigger Picture
Because I was one of the more “independent” students, I was constantly pulled out of class — even though my parents had asked that I remain in lessons.
Some therapy goals were unrealistic.
Handwriting was one of them. It was beyond my physical abilities, yet I was pushed to try again and again.
Instead of empowering me, it chipped away at my confidence.
Sometimes the goal shouldn’t be to do what everyone else does - but to find your own way of learning
A lot of the social moments that make school feel like school happened while I was somewhere else. Inclusion isn’t just academic - it’s social.
What I Missed Along the Way
Looking back, I realise how much I missed — not just academically, but socially.
When you spend most of your day being taken in and out of classrooms, you never quite belong anywhere.
By the time I reached high school, the impact was obvious.
I was behind in almost every subject — even the basics.
But I wasn’t broken.
I just needed a different kind of support.
Therapy helped me function - but school was meant to help me grow
My first real taste of independence - a simple movie trip that reminded me what freedom could look like.
When Independence Became Shared
A little later, another friend surprised me by joining Girl Guides.
She had a similar disability level to mine, but she relied on me to show her around and help her settle in.
I cared about her deeply — but I also wanted something of my own.
One space where I didn’t have to guide someone else through independence.
That’s why I was so excited to attend a different high school.
It felt like a chance to grow into my own person, separate from the routines and assumptions I had known.
Of course, I didn’t realise how many new challenges would come with that freedom.
Independence can be lonely at first - but it’s when growth begins,
My First Taste of Freedom
I was eight or nine when I had my first real moment of independence.
My cousins and I were going to the movies to see My Girl.
Our parents agreed to drop us off — and because my cousins knew how to support me, my parents trusted I’d be okay.
It felt like freedom — my first glimpse into the world without adults hovering nearby.
I told a friend about it — a friend with a severe disability who hated being left out of anything.
By the time I got home, her mother had called mine asking if they could come along too.
Mum had no choice but to say yes.
And just like that, my first independent outing became another supervised trip.
I wasn’t upset she came —
I was upset that my freedom was so fragile.
Sometimes independence isn’t taken away - it just isn’t understood.
Finding a Different Kind of independence
When I started high school, my parents made a big decision —
they stopped all therapy.
They wanted me to focus on learning, not just coping.
At first, I struggled.
I was behind in multiple subjects and had to work hard to catch up.
But slowly — consistently — I did.
And then something unexpected happened.
Without constant therapy sessions:
✨ I finally had time to live like every other student.
✨ I learned emotional and social independence.
✨ I began putting myself in uncomfortable situations just to be seen.
And without the social opportunities my parents gave me outside of school, I wouldn’t have survived those early months of high school.
True independence isn’t taught - it’s discovered
Some friendships help me grow - others taught me when I needed space to grow on my own.
Learning Beyond the Classroom
As the years went by, I began going out with friends —
to the shops, the movies, each other’s homes.
Those moments taught me confidence, courage, and choice.
That kind of independence doesn’t come from a therapy goal sheet.
It comes from living — from experiences, risks, and relationships.
Because some lessons happen in the classrooms - and others happen when you’re brave enough to step outside of them.
Closing Reflection
Primary school focused on my independence.
High school gave me my education.
But it was the combination of both that shaped who I am.
Because independence without learning is isolation —
and learning without independence is limitation,
Every student deserves both - support that empowers, and education that expands their world.
High school gave me the kind of independence no therapy session ever could - confidence built through friendship and showing up as myself
Message to Educators and Parents
If a child seems “independent,” it doesn’t mean they don’t need help.
It doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling.
It simply means they’re trying to grow.
Give them space to learn —
but don’t take away their right to be supported.
Independence is strongest when it’s shared - not forced
Stay Connected
Inclusion doesn’t grow in isolation — it grows in community.
If this story resonated with you, or if you’re looking for gentle weekly reminders, practical tips, and real lived-experience insights, I’d love for you to join me on Instagram.
Follow @challengesbehindacceptance for weekly reflections, behind-the-scenes moments, and resources that help make inclusion a daily practice.
It’s a space where we learn together, share stories, and celebrate the small steps that make a big difference.
Because inclusion grows stronger when we grow together.
High school gave me space to grow - adulthood gave me
the freedom to be myself
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